TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
