Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
