It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
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You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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