Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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