walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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