Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
