she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
