We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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