its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize