Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize