Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
