is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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