Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
