her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
