Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
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I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
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You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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