You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
