Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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