If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
