This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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