I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Your penis caused this!
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