I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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