Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
