whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
