Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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