A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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