we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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