So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
