Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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