I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
