I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
