if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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