I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We are all done wearing pants today
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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