One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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