Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
