the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
