I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
