I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
