I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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