and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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