I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
