Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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