she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
