all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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