It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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