If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
