Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
