We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's get the cat blown out
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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