I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize