your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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