Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize