stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
