Is it normal to miss your booty call?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
