Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
