See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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