Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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