my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
