you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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