i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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