Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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